So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
