so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
