It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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