Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
