I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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