I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
