who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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