I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
