I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
