you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
