How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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