I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
