Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
