i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i need some magic done to my vagina
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
