we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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