please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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