What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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