I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
