those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Randomize