I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
