Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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