don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You can't motorboat a personality
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
