WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
