That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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