Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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