My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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