Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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