how can u be prego again
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
