so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
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