You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
