The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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