the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
