I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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