At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
