My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Randomize
