Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize