I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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