She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
