can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
