Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
