Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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