oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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