im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
