You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
