I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
