Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize