She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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