no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
