Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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