No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
