they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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