I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
