and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
