I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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