i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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