my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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