she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
