You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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