dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
