Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
