remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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